PHUONG MAI NGUYEN

This marks the third part of the conversation among Weng Ian Kitsana, Danica Kevi, and Phuong Mai.

Phuong Mai: I feel like we have such a responsibility and duty to preserve our cultures, our traditions, and the values that we associate with our cultures and ethnicities. But how much of that is actually just preserving what we were taught and what we were grown up on versus preserving what we simply believe in for ourselves? We're already naturally doing it. For example, for [Weng] to say,  ‘I want to take photos of women in their cultural wear, because that's empowering for them’ is creating our own version of staying true to ourselves and staying true to the cultures we're preserving. We’re creating our own lane of what that looks like. 

Maybe this is the whole learning process for us too. we're paying homage to where we come from, but sometimes where we come from is not necessarily exactly how we should live in the future as well. When you're marrying outside your culture, there is now a stronger desire to think, ‘I'm going to explore what my culture means to me and my relationship to it so that I can confidently represent that within my own family.’ And that becomes natural. It's not like anyone taught us to do that, but it's because you already naturally feel like this is right to you and how you want to continue building that legacy. 

Danica Kevi: I don't have that direct connection to my [Thai] culture since my dad passed. My journey is how do I redefine that [connection] for myself without relying on my dad so much? What does that journey look like for me? I want to learn Thai, and I just want to be able to carry on a conversation and go to Thailand by myself. We all have our own journey on how we're redefining what our culture means or what our identity is within our culture, but we're here to support each other. We're here to hold each other's hands while we're going through this journey that is so personal to us – it's so deep. It feels so close to our hearts. 

It's so empowering to have other women next to us go through this journey together and help navigate each other and not have to think, ‘Well, this is my story. This is what's true.’ All the stories are true, and how can we empower each other and keep on pushing each other to pursue that journey?

Phuong Mai: There is that line that connects all the Asian cultures, and that's how we continue to uplift and empower that — not just acknowledging the differences, but also certain similar traditions or values that we can continue to empower in each other. 

Danica Kevi: I'm sure there are so many similarities once you peel back all the layers. We all share so much, which is so beautiful. But at the same time, we're so uniquely different, which is also just so heartwarming to see and learn about. I just love Asian people. 

Weng Ian Kitsana: We're so beautiful. Another part about why I love this project so much is it breaks stereotypes. We can look so different. We don't fall under the category of what an Asian is supposed to look like – pale or dark-skinned, straight or curly hair. We all look so different and come in different shapes and sizes and colors and skin tones and stuff – that has also been very eye-opening for me. I can't imagine how crazy it must look like for somebody who doesn't know that much about Asian ethnicities. 

Danica Kevi: I would love for more people to feel encouraged to [have their own photoshoots], even on a small scale. Even if you're wearing your traditional wear from when your mom made it when you were 17 – bring that back out of your closet and wear it to a wedding or your company holiday party. I want people to look at these pictures and not only think, ‘Oh, this is a staged thing and NYSU had to do it.’ Our traditional wear should be incorporated into our lives just normally. As I think about the experience of each of us even attaining these traditional outfits, I want to normalize that [habit] a bit more. I want to be able to offer guidance in obtaining traditional dresses.

Weng Ian Kitsana: I hope this [campaign] encourages more conversations for people to know that they're not alone – those feelings they have and those [societal] pressures they feel – we all feel it, too. I hope that I'm more open about [my Thai culture], and that I become more willing to talk about it, share my take on it, and listen in. Even if somebody's not Thai or not Chinese, it doesn't necessarily mean they wouldn't understand.

Phuong Mai: What's been so beautiful to even sit with as we're kind of building this out, is that it’s an experience, whether it's a personal one or as an observer of somebody else's personal experience. We’re building that empathy, compassion, and holding space for something that we wouldn't normally carve out or go out of our way to carve out for. But that’s the idea, right? We don't have to wait for something to happen to catalyze these sorts of conversations just for people to connect further and learn. We have so much to learn about ourselves, but I think the biggest way to even learn about ourselves is learning through each other. 

It's exciting, and I feel like we're really creating change here, or at least building something that feels both intimidating and a lot of pressure, but also the good kind. I know we're going to keep making [this change] work.